I can't say I am sad to see a new year begin as 2018 was one of the worst years. Sure I've had tough moments in years past, but nothing like a whole year of yuck. Good news is that it's behind me and forward I go.
It's time to put up a new calendar and enjoy a fresh start. Obviously, you can't erase everything, yet mentally it feels like a fresh start.
This is the year that I am going to keep moving forward. I'm going into the year feeling better mentally. I still have my days when I struggle and stress is a big factor with my anxiety. I am finding that the anxious feeling is coming on less and less.
I set up a breakfast for my family recently. Simple donuts and milk. I went to Chuck later and told him that I felt real joy in doing that task. It's been a long time since I felt that kind of joy. I can feel that I am moving forward and I'm so thankful!
One of the big things last year is that we accured quite a bit of debt. Both of our vehicles needed to have their transmission rebuilt. Our furnace went out and we had to purchase a new furnace and air conditioning unit. There is medical debt from where Chuck injured his ankle and debt from where Megan had to have some heart testing. We took a vacation that I knew we couldn't afford. We were eating out a ton and I knew things were a mess.
I spent a morning going through each debt and making a list. Seeing those figures in black and white, totaled up was shocking. You see, my state of mind last year lead to an I don't care mentality. Bad, bad, bad as it lead to overspending, using credit, and not keeping good records.
I told Chuck that we needed to talk so we jumped into his truck (that I affectionally call Trusty Rusty *smile*) and headed through the Chick-fil-A drive thru. We grabbed drinks and then found a parking lot to sit in. I handed him the list of debt and then waited, To my surprise he took it all with grace. He accepted responsibility for his part. Not saying no to eating out or questioning my spending. Also for not taking over the finances when I was at my worse and asked him to. We both know that we have played a part in our financial disaster.
All of that to say that we will be changing our spending as we start our debt free journey. We've played at it in the past, but haven't had the desire or amount of debt we currently have. I haven't decided yet if I am going to share our total debt. I might start by sharing our lowest debt in the sidebar. Then I will update it as we pay it down. In the end you all will know our debt total. I have been talking about frugal living and then I bottomed out so it is hard for me to share how far we fell. I may get more comfortable sharing as we embark on our debt free journey.
As I move forward I am going to take better care of me. I don't mean that in a selfish way either. I need to get my weight down. Before I started taking anxiety medication I was self medicating with chocolate. I know that it will be a long and hard journey, but I need to change so that I feel better. I also need to make time to spend in the Word. Not a quick read, but a quiet time to meditate on what I am reading.
I need to be in the Word so that I can see God's plan for me as a homemaker, wife, mother, and most importantly a child of God. I feel like I bought into the world telling me that I need to spend, I need to keep up with trends, I need to vacation like every one else, live like everyone else, and basicly allowed all of this to make me feel like I was unworthy. I can now see that comparison and buying into the lies of the world did not bring me happiness. In reality it brought me to my knees. As hard as it has been, it might not have been a bad thing as it has changed my mindset. I can now see that God will use the hard to mold and change a person.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:2
Another change is going to be in my home. I plan to declutter again and I have a project or two planned. Very frugal projects like painting and changing up decor (with items I aleady have). I also plan to get back to basics. Monthly/weekly menu planning. Cooking more from scratch and lessening our food waste. Last year was bad! I'd like to increase my pantry stock. I also want to developing some new routines. All in all I want to make changes for my home to once again feel like a haven.
I am hoping to post regularly, but I won't guarentee that it will happen. I love blogging and reading blogs, yet I love my family more. I don't feel like I was truly present last year and moving forward that will be my number one goal... more time present with my family.
I am ready to see what 2019 has in store. Ready, set,.. keep moving forward! Happy New Year, friends!