I have always known that I wanted to be a mom. I feel in my heart that to truly be satisfied with my life that this is a must.
Chuck and I were married May 2001 when I was 30 and he was 29, what some might consider later in life. We knew right away that we wanted to start our family.
When I was in my 20's I was diagnosed with PCOS and knew this might be difficult.
Three months into our marriage I spoke with my doctor and due to my history and age it was recommended I see a fertility doctor.
I took the fertility shots with no success. We were told that invitro would be our only option. I began taking the medication and going for frequent blood test. Time after time my sugar came back too high and we could not proceed.
This time was very hard emotionally for me. I can not say enough about how supportive Chuck was. During this time I keep thinking about adoption. Time and time again I keep thinking that I want to be a mom, not just I want to become pregnant. I think during this time God was planting the seed for adoption.
I finally said my heart could no longer take the disappointment of the fertility treatments. I mentioned adoption to Chuck, but he was not ready at this point.
I began to research adoption because I knew in my heart that it was the right thing. I began to pray that if this was the plan for our family that God would open Chuck's heart to it. By this time he said he wasn't opposed to adoption, he just wasn't sure.
I completely understood this. I had time since my 20's to prepare for the fact that I may not have a biological child, Chuck had much less time to prepare for this. If you haven't been in the situation it is hard to explain. I guess that you almost grieve for the child that will never be.
After many tears, prayers and heartfelt conversations Chuck's heart opened to adoption.
We researched all of our options, domestic adoption, foster to adopt and international adoption. International adoption was our choice.
I am not even sure if Dad is aware but he the main reason we went with China. We were talking one afternoon about my desire to become a mom and Dad said "why don't you go to China and bring home a baby girl." Once again I believe God was planting the seed. We prayed about our decision and keep feeling pull to the China program.
The road has been long and hard. We submitted our application on March 2005 and our paperwork was logged in to China 10/13/05. When we began the process the wait time from log in was 6 mos, we have currently been waiting for over 15 mos. The wait has been very difficult. I finally asked God to carry this burden for me and feel at peace about it. We continue to wait, but I know the wait is all part of God's plan for our family. Soon we will see the beautiful daughter He has always had in mind for our family.
We don't know for sure when we will have our referral, but it looks like it will be in the next two months. We are overflowing with anticipation and excitement.