Monday, May 20, 2019

Content

It's been a journey, but I am in a really good place.  A place where I am content.  I don't mean content when my home is spotless, because let me tell you it's not!  Nor when we have tons of disposable income, because again that is not the case.  I am content just being.... me.  Whether I am puttering through my day, doing housework, running errands, or feeling those everyday stresses... I am content.

Friends, let me tell you that this hasn't always been the case.  Those of you that have been around for a while know that I've struggled with my mental health, my self esteem, and the feeling of failure.  Especially since we were swimming in debt, and guilt that I added to that debt through some medical struggles and my reckless spending when I was rock bottom emotionally.

I have let go of so many things.  Many self induced thoughts that have caused me a great deal of pressure.  I have let go of perfect.  Letting go of that image of perfect has been life changing for me!

Many years ago I got off the merry go round, yet I still didn't feel satisfied.  I worried and worried some more.  What do people think of me,  why can't I live in a beautiful home like I see all over blogland and Instagram.  I would see people I know posting on Facebook about their gatherings and feel miserable wondering why we weren't invited. Why, why, why. Compare, compare, compare.  It's a dangerous place to be.

Now instead of worry, having impossible expectation, and unrealistic comparison I have turned turned to true gratitude.   I'm extremely grateful that I have my little home, for my little family, for health insurance and good doctors.  I am thankful for all the things great and difficult that the Lord has put in my life.  I can't even put into words how wonderful this shift in mindset has been.  I'm living my life to bring joy to myself, my family, and most importantly to bring glory to God.

Again, I am soooooo grateful for all who have read my thoughts and shared my life on my little space on the web.  Don't give up on me just yet.  I'm working my way back into posting more often.

Let your manner of living be without covetousness, and be content with such things as ye have. For He hath said, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5




12 comments:

  1. I am so happy you are feeling better!! I struggle with some of those feelings of discontent about where I am at this point in my life and about perfection. I'm working on it! Enjoy your days caring for yourself and your family! (I always check your blog at least twice daily and am so happy when I see a new post!)

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  2. Happy to hear from you. I left social media a long time ago and even gave up the blog. Letting go is the important for a mindful and peaceful life! Yet, some are an inspiration online. You are one of these people! I have followed your blog for many many years. A kindred spirit, I guess you could say since my husband and I too adopted. I have seen you ride these waves with grace and honesty. You are a good mother, wife, and strong woman. Never forget that!

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  3. I would like to share with you a little prayer I say everyday. I ask the Lord to be the Guardian of my thoughts, the Keeper of the Gate to my mind. I have found that my thoughts can be my enemy, therefore I turn them over to Him because He has already defeated my enemy. May God bless you, sister.

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  4. Dearest Wedi,
    I am happy for you.
    Isn't it a relief when we set aside all those thoughts and find peace in who we are and what we have? I finally did that a few years ago, and feel so much happier in my own little world! Hugs, my friend.

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  5. A friend and I were just talking about this very thing today. How the comparison thing is such a struggle; we don't invite people into our homes because they aren't pristine like the homes we see on Instagram or FB; we're afraid of what people will think of us... but we also know that it's wrong to think like that. It's a constant mental battle to remind ourselves that the Lord has created us for a purpose and comparison's are not in His plan for us. I'm glad to read that you're doing better.

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  6. I'm glad to hear from you again! I think we all have struggled with contentment at some point--I know I have. It creeps in and sometimes we don't even notice it's there until it has become a bigger deal. It's a conscious choice for me to choose contentment and I've noticed it leads to gratefulness.

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  7. Wendy you stay off face book if it sparks bad feelings. You hear me? I have to do this, sometimes it brings up this old demon of ingratitude in me and I get really low. Don't let Satan have his way. Facebook is great but it can trigger bad things. So be strong my friend You are Enough.

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  8. Wendi, I am so glad to see you back posting, and I am glad that you have found contentment. I don't do social media, but I read somewhere that what you see on Facebook is only what the poster wants you to see; you don't see the problems in their lives! I keep you in my prayers always; God had us in His hands, and He will keep you safe.
    Jackie in CA

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  9. Hello Wendi; it is good to see you are in a good place. I used to be in the same situation as you described.... still get that way every once in awhile.... but have found that with age, comes contentment. So many of those things don't matter. Unplug the extra noise (other people's posts) and enjoy your own! I read a book recently about real life versus facebook life : The Woman I was Before by Kerry Fisher. You might enjoy it, too. (very funny , but makes you take a different look at all those fabulous Instagram and facebook posts)

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  10. Hi Wendi, I have not been around a computer for eight days..today is my first day back on. Trying to catch up with the last post. I have found that contentment comes when you fall in love with your little home, your family and your Lord. I believe everyone at one time or another compares ones self with others online. People hid behind their social media..it is rare to find someone who is real. That's why I love following you Wendi ~ you are real! Hugs sweet friend.

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