Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Weary

I have had some inquiries about my lack of posting. It was never my intent to take a break. Sometimes life just happens. One issue is that my laptop stopped working.
 Chuck tried to repair it and it didn't work. He then spoke with an IT guy at work who gave another suggestion to try. He said that with what Chuck had already done if this didn't work then it was dead. Sadly, it is dead.
 
That means I have to use the desk top and by computer standards it is a dinosaur. It is a real pain to upload the pictures to blogger using it.
 
Quite frankly I am feeling weary.
I understand life is meant to be a blessing and a challenge. I am feeling the challenges at the moment.
 
One thing that has made me weary is all of the politics. It seems every where I turn it is coming from all sides. My dad has a saying that your opinion ends where the other guys nose begins. I am ready for people to tone it down.
 
We are also having an issue with our septic system. Sewers are coming to our area and we were hoping we could hold off.  A phone call was made and we aren't on the sewer schedule yet and who knows how long it will be until we are. Our septic system is original to our home which was built in 1953. Unfortunately all signs point to a failing septic.  
 
I am doing laundry at my parents and we are taking quick showers. We are doing all we can to prevent it from failing before we can get someone out here to check it out. If we need a new system it will be very expensive. We are in prayer asking for an answer that doesn't involve a new system and for the funds to pay for all of this.
 
I believe I may have mentioned that Megan's little school ends at 6th grade. We always knew we would need to make a decision about what would happen after that. An announcement that her current teacher, who teaches a 5th/6th grade combo class, is retiring at the end of the school year has changed things. The school is trying to make a decision based on enrollment and funds about whether they will have a 6th grade class next year.
 
That prompted us to go ahead and make a decision about the direction of her future education. We have thought about another private, Christian school, public school, and homeschool as options. I made the mistake of putting a question about a neighboring school district stating that the district we are in isn't a good fit for Megan on FB. I opened myself up to some nasty things. I deleted the thread because it caused me to receive a couple of very hurtful private messages.
 
It is easy for people to judge your decisions and tell you what decisions are best for you. An example of this is my father-in-law (who we have never discussed this issue with) informed Chuck in a phone conversation last night that we need to put Megan in public school. That it is best for her to be put in situations that will cause her to have to deal with real world issues. He also stated that I need to get a full time job and that having children in care programs is good for them. Chuck was upset by the time they ended the conversation.
 
The thing is Megan is timid and has her own unique personality. Putting her in a group of 500 + kids isn't going to make her more social and outgoing. She shuts down when she feels overwhelmed. We see it at birthday parties and such.
 
Many act like we are taking this decision lightly. Certainly not. We did discuss it with Chuck's mom and step-dad while having dinner with them. They are supportive no matter what decision we make. One of the big issues is that I am a people pleaser. I have a strong dislike for conflict and I want people to be happy with me.
 
We are 97% sure of our decision for future schooling. I received a call from the school principal last Thursday about an incident at school. It involved a 6th grade student sending a text to a girl in class that mentioned "69." Megan was not involved, but the principal did talk to all of the 5th/6th grade girls as a group to see if any other inappropriate comments had been made to the girls.
 
That ended with me having to have a difficult conversation with Megan.  As soon as I told her Mrs. W had called me and I asked her what she talked to the girls about she started crying. Hearing your little girl say she told us that a boy sent a "sexual" text to another girl in my class about ripped my heart out. Then we had to have a basic conversation about sex.  Certainly not a subject we intended to discuss at this point.
 
Now I have spilled more then I probably should have. I hadn't even told my mom about this and we talk about almost everything. It served as another reminder that even if you have your child in a Christian program it doesn't mean that everyone holds the same values that you do. It reinforced to us that we have to be diligent at being involved and aware of the things Megan is exposed to. 
 
So friends, that is why I am feeling weary. As a "friend" pointed out in her private message to me I live in a bubble. At the moment I am fine with my "bubble." I have enough to manage in my own world without the issues of the outside world in my face all the time.
 
I am learning that what is important is that I obey God, my husband and stand by our convictions. I will never please everyone and as long I am pleasing God, Chuck and myself that is what I need to do. Others will always judge the things you do and someone will always be there to tell you they disagree with your decision. As Chuck's step-dad said "you are adults and don't need approval from anyone for the decisions you make." Easier said then done for a people pleaser, but I am trying.
 


15 comments:

  1. Oh Wendi, I'm so sorry you're going through so much right now. I pray it all gets better.

    As for the school, have you considered Connections Academy? I've been doing it with my kids for 7 years and love it. It's still public school but it's online, they provide all the materials and even a computer if your daughter doesn't have one, they have teachers still, and livelessons and phone calls with the teachers etc., but they can go at their own pace. Just a thought :)

    Hope the rest of the your week goes smoother.

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  2. I've never commented before but read your blog. I think your little family is precious. Girl live in that bubble! I do with my family. We have kept our daughter very sheltered and she is 21. No harm done. We home schooled. Daughter is now taking online college. Sandra's suggestion sounds great. I was/am people pleaser too but your family comes first. I stayed at home with kids while my husband worked and like you made lots of sacrifices, it has been well worth it. Sending prayers.

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  3. Oh Wendi I too am so very sorry for all that you are going through just now. You are always such a lovely, kind, sweet, generous and positive person that it hurts my heart to read that you are having these struggles. I've been reading your lovely blog for a while now but never commented before.
    How often you write here is entirely up to you and no one else! Please don't feel you need to apologise for not posting on your blog! I haven't updated mine since last May :-). I too had computer problems and it got too stressful and frustrating to keep trying to write posts and upload images so I have taken an extended break! Life happens and gets in the way and I am sure everyone would agree it is much better for you not to worry about keeping to a blogging schedule just now with so much else going on.
    Only you and your hubby know best what is right for your darling girl and you should not be made to feel that you have to justify your decisions to anyone else. There is space in this world for everyone, introvert, extrovert and in between and honestly, wouldn't life be boring if we were all the same? You write of Megan in your blog posts as such a dear, gentle little girl - who would ever want to change that? Her nature should be cherished, not frightened into trying to be someone she isn't, and it sounds like homeschool would be perfect for her - I am another who speaks from experience here! There is so much pressure on children to grow up too quickly today and I really admire how you have made an effort to shield Megan from this - it takes far more courage and strength of character to do that, than giving in to the popular opinion does. If you do decide to go the homeschool way I have no doubt at all that you will make a great success of it.
    I am not outgoing myself either! In fact due to illness I have been housebound since the beginning of December, but it doesn't bother me at all! I love being at home - it is my happy place. So I also agree, stay in your bubble! I am happy to stay in mine :-) There is just so much ugly negativity swirling around the world at the moment. To my mind it is not so much that we live in a bubble anyway, but that we are simply trying to do as the Bible teaches and be content in whatever circumstances we are given, though that doesn't mean it's always easy! Sometimes staying in that bubble can be a lot harder than people realise, I think! But God has a plan for all of us and you are an inspiration to so many, sharing your journey and showing how you place your faith in Him and trust that He will show you the way forwards. I often do pray for you and your sweet family and will continue to do so. I love reading about your life here, you keep it real and help us all to see that no matter how hard our own lives are God is still the guiding light in them. You have so much courage and honesty and I hope things get easier for you soon. My life isn't so easy at the moment either, so please know you are not alone! I will keep you in my prayers. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Love, Rubekah xxxxx. PS sorry to have written so much!

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  4. I have been thinking of you all week. I felt something may be off. You know what? I have been told so many times I live in a bubble. You know what we do. We are strangers in this world if we walk in Christ. I had some family members that didn't feel that homeschool was a good decision but if it is our family and I have to stand and answer for things not them.

    I will pray for you sweet friend. Jesus has you in the Palm of His hands. He is right in the middle of your storm.

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  5. Wendi I am so sorry, people can be so mean. I agree 100% with Mama Bear, Chrissy and Kim.
    I'm sending hugs and prayers your way.

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  6. Wendi,
    I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Especially about school (and your computer! :0) I wish we could all remember the old adage 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all'. Even if you disagree with someone you can be nice about it, right?

    School decisions are so hard. My mom always says 'why can't you just send your kids to your neighborhood school and be done with it?' I try to explain that things are different now than in the 70's and 80's when we were in school. It's not always that easy. We are fortunate we had an excellent neighborhood school and had 7 really good years there. Then we went to middle school. We were lucky to get into a pilot program (which has since been disbanded) which was almost like a little private school within the big school. It was so good for my daughter but if she didn't have that program I'm not sure she'd be the same student she is now in high school (9th grade). MS is such a hard time for kids and parents. I'm sure you'll make the decision that is best for Megan. I will say that getting involved in clubs has helped my daughter a lot. She's in student council this year and she is meeting new kids who, like her want to work hard and be successful, which has been really good for her.

    Sending hugs your way. :)

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  7. Kids are exposed to sexually explicit things younger and younger these days. Girls were sexting when my daughter was in grade 6. It is only getting more prevalent. Christian schools are not immune to this and is certainly no guarantee of salvation.

    Do as you feel the Lord leading you. I admire your dedication to your family and Christ. Hugs to you.

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  8. Sweet Wendi, I'm so sorry there is so much turmoil for you right now.
    You are right that this political talk needs to calm down. Buf it seems people are just getting more wound up.

    However you decide to school Megan is yours and Chucks decision, no one else's. People, even relatives, have no right butting in.

    I am touched by all the sweet comments you've already received.
    I'll be praying for you

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  9. Oh Wendi, I know this is a lot for you to deal with right now. I will be praying for you! It is hard to make decisions and have friends and family not agree with it.(We have been there numerous times already!) But it is your decision, not theirs. I know you are seeking the Lord on all these issues and I am praying for wisdom for you in all of this.

    PS--I attended a Christian school and also taught at one for a few years. Yes, those things do happen even there, unfortunately!

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  10. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. Praying for you!

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  11. Oh dearie, if I were there, I'd give you a great big hug! We homeschool, and we've gone through much of what you've mentioned. As far as the inappropriate conversations, they were at church!

    If you're in a bubble, good! It's a Christ centered, protect your chicks, mama hen bubble that God designed you to be in. Don't let anyone burst your bubble just so they can feel better about their own choices or lack of choices. You're doing right.

    I have full confidence that you and your husband will make the right decision. God is faithful to lead us when we're willing to follow, and you are.

    Hugs to you!

    Laura Lane
    at home with kids since 1991,
    homeschooling since 1996.

    Harvest Lane Cottage

    P.S. If you want to talk, you can email me directly. laura of harvest lane at g mail dot com

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  12. I wish I had the profound and right things to say that could help you. I do know that Facebook was not a positive nor healthy place for me so I left and it is blocked from our network.I find the blogging community much better. Parenting will get harder as your child gets older. I mentioned on my blog this week about a book that my son read in public high school that deals with suicide, rape, and never once was a letter sent home to me as a parent. Yet, I have dealt with the matter and still have my son attending public school. Oh and I did homeschool him up to 6th grade. I will pray for your family and am always available to listen. Sending much compassion and prayer!

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  13. Oh Wendi! I am so sorry you are going through this...some people! I agree with everyone that has commented. You stay in that bubble! I have homeschooled all of my boys from day one. We decided this many years ago as we felt lead to home school. Yes, we've had family mad and pointing fingers, but I just kept doing what I did. Its not their choice to make. Its what's best for my family, for our boys. We choose what each child needs. Stay strong, stay in faith and let God direct your family and what path you need to take for Megan. God's not going to desert you through this storm.
    You being home is the best thing for your daughter and for your hubby. God provides...
    I'll be praying for you and if you need to chat shoot me an email.
    Hugs to you,
    Amy

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  14. Oh Wendi!!!!!!!!! I KNOW how ugly people can get with schooling issues. i will pray for Peace for y'all in making the best decision for your family. No one else's opinion matters- only you and Chuck know what is best for Megan. Whatever y'all decide, you know all of us support you!!!!!

    His
    Shari

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  15. Ultimately, you and your husband must make the best decision for your family. We are an adoptive family, too, and we homeschool. We tried a magnet school for K and 1st grade, but our daughter was a victim of bullying. Others tried to "suggest" what we should do, and we stood our ground. We had to. Our children are the most important thing to us, and no one knows your child(ren) like you do. You will make the right decision for all of you. When we're questioned about it, we politely answer. If people get really pushy, we shut them down by saying, "We've made the best decision for our family and it works well." Then, we change the topic. Hoping for peace for you all.

    Michelle

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