You know that since we left our previous church I have struggled. Friends, I don't think you know just how much I have struggled. I have been carrying a burden of bitterness and resentment.
This had consumed me and held me hostage for far to long. I was hurt by the treatment of other. Unloving and unkind behavior really hurts.
It had taken me far to long to realize that by holding on to this I was only hurting me. Those that caused me to feel this way are carrying on with life, but I was stuck. I had let the hurt and frustration fester and wasn't handling it the correct way. I finally said "No More!"
I finally did what I should have done from the beginning. I took it to the Lord. I don't know how many times while teaching Sunday School we talked with the kids about looking to God's Word for answers.
I began by looking up verses on bitterness.
Then I moved on to verses about forgiveness.
Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained. John 20:23
I was holding on so tight to my bitterness, resentment and hurt that I wasn't able to let go. While I was thinking about things and replaying them I was retaining the hurt and letting bitterness take root.
No amends or words are needed from others. I need to forgive and let go of the bitterness and move on. For no other reason then I need it and it is the right thing to do.
I won't say that this has been easy. I went back to that church recently to take my mother-in-law out for lunch. (she works in the office) I thought it might stir up some old feeling, but it didn't. There were some ladies there that I made a little small talk with and you know what? I can feel that the burden toward many at this church is lifting. Oh, how great it is!
May your day be filled with joy and contentment!